You are gold. Do not
set yourself on fire to keep
other people warm.

- Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | A Haiku On Self-Love

(Source: surfandwrite, via surfandwrite)

July 2013
Hope crawled in my corpse. You taught me how to inhale before stealing my breath away.

August 2013
I didn’t know how to swim in water. So I swam bedsheets instead. It is hard to forget you in the morning. When they leave and I am naked, without a blanket to hide under in.

September 2013
Got high and we painted the ocean until it kissed the sky. Stayed up the entire night, stayed up the entire morning.

It isn’t so bad. Being alive.

October 2013
My best friend told me not to play with fire. I got flames tattooed on the back of my hand and burned myself to the ground.

I am not Helen of Troy. But this a war story. It isn’t romantic. I am devastating only myself.

November 2013
Dusk swallowed nostalgia and impregnated my limbs. Write for better days to come.

December 2013
December is still the loneliest month. But I have learned to run with wolves. I am leaving you behind. I am finally letting him go.

January 2014
Sunburn peeling. Claw marks bleeding. Human skin has stories etched into every scar. They will heal. I am healing. What a beautiful battle I’ve become.

February 2014
Woke up and it no longer hurts, saying your name.

I’m okay.

-

Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | 4 Months To Forgive You: Israel, 2 Months To Finally Fight For Myself

Journal entries 2013-2014. (Part 1 here)

Breaking hearts is a skill
you’ve perfected over the years.
How many girls
have doubted themselves over you?
How many girls’ fears
have you made come true?
Keep count, keep count
I’ll carve it on your headstone
the day we bury you alive.
Unfortunately this time
you’ve met your match.
Heartache is an art
I’ve mastered over dead bodies
sitting on my tongue.
Your teeth are knives sharpened
to rip out people’s throats.
You need more than that, darling.
You need a fucking axe to get to me.
I’ll moan your name when you hold my hips
and make you lose your guard so after I’ll
scream poetry about how you broke my spine
paint my walls with chunks of flesh
torn from your chest hang your head
up on the mantle like a trophy a cheap prize
I won at the carnival. You always wanted
to be the center of attention, didn’t you?

Heartbreak is a game
I’ve played over spilled guts
and open caskets, love.

I always win.

- Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | Breaking Hearts Is An Art

(Source: surfandwrite, via surfandwrite)

peaceowlforest:

"Give me seawater

and sunshine, and I’ll show you

what my soul looks like.”

- Sade Andria Zabala | A Haiku On Self-Portraits

My readers make the best birthday gifts tbh.

This is SOOOO PRETTY. Thank you. x

(via surfandwrite)

Surf and Write

Anonymous asked: shake, music, dictionary

surfandwrite:

I tried to use 

a dictionary 

so I could 

define the way

your touch 

seems to make music flow

from the pores of my skin, but

words alone 

could not do justice

to how

effortlessly you can 

shake the emptiness

out of me.

(Thank you for that)

You can buy my poetry book here:

(via surfandwrite)

Let’s be honest here -
I am not the girl men fall in love with.
I am the girl that men want to fuck.
I am a conquest. A prize. A show.

I could count on five hundred fingers
the number of people that have professed,
“I like you. You’re different. You’re an interesting girl.”
Apparently I’m not fascinating enough for you
to want to hold for more than a one night stand.

Once
as I finished swimming a sea of blankets
and got left stranded on the shore,
I asked myself:

What’s wrong with me?
What am I doing?
Am I not good enough for anybody?

And right before I could drown again,
the sun woke up and said,

"You are.
You are enough.
Forget the men whose hands have groped your hips
in search for answers to questions
you’ve never even heard of.
Do not settle for people who do not appreciate you,
who do not know how lucky they are.
Remember it is a privilege to be loved by you,
or even just
to be touched by you, and
the warmth of another body does not define your worth.

These men -
they think that they can own you
with their drunken stares and roughened arms, but
I have circled the earth
a thousand times
to feed the light flowing inside your skin.
Do not waste it by illuminating those who
can not even be bothered
to learn your last name.”

So that night when
the moon tried once more to pin me down,
I told him:

I am made of sunlight, crashing waves, and fireworks.
You think you can tame me
and cool my flesh?
I am the girl who plays with matches,
and trust me I play it well.
Lord knows I’ve walked through villages leaving
a pile of destruction in my wake.

My heart is a bushfire
and the next time you try to control me,
darling, make no mistake -

I will burst out and ravage you in flames.

I’ll
burn
you
to
the
ground.

(This isn’t a test.)

- Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | For All The Girls With Messy Hearts, And To The Men Whose Skin Have Tasted Mine

(Source: surfandwrite, via surfandwrite)

Surf and Write

fathi-meer asked: Moonbeams, mysteries, melancholy

surfandwrite:

Moonbeams glisten

over taut skin stretched  

over bones aching; Love,

I am almost always aching,

I drink water when I am not

thirsty and I know I am hard to take,

but my veins sing out your name

to catch the mysteries floating

round my eyes, I am whispering

stories before you sleep,

can you hear them?

I say,

"The city smoke pollutes

souls once were clean.”

I say,

"Put your dreams in a lighter

and set my hands aflame.”

I say,

"Douse the melancholy in my voice,

rip the questions from my vocal chords -“

But you fell before I finished.

So I left a note on your

pillow. It says,

"I want answers. I’ve been

unsolved for too long.”

1. Do not describe your poems with adjectives like “shitty”. Do not call yourself “normal” or “boring”. Your hair is not too red. Your talent is not “alright”. And you are not just a socially awkward penguin. You are what you say and what you think and what you want to become. When you receive a compliment, do not put a “but” or an “I don’t think so” or any backhanded contradiction in your reply. Accept it and say your thank yous sincerely. There is a difference between humility and negativity. Devaluing yourself is not attractive.

2. Stop chasing after boys who don’t even make the effort to message you, chase you, or get to know you. You are sick of people who make you feel they don’t want you enough. Find someone who knows what they want. Find someone who knows what they want is you.

3. Some people can not give you what you want. They do not have what you are looking for. And that is completely okay.

- Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | For Days When I Feel Like I Am Anything Less

(via surfandwrite)

Footprint 1/? Long Island, New York

The first in our worldwide art series, Word Travels

I’m guessing this was left in a park? If you want to join, tag surfandwrite. Feel free to write in the caption your city name and country, where you took the picture, why you chose the poem, and the story behind it, or whatever you want to say about the photo/experience. I won’t remove any caption you write.

You can track all our pieces in the tag:

(Source: hollywood-glam)

Like the winter hail -
people and life
can be so harsh
sometimes, so
please allow me
to rest
in the cocoon
of your arms
tonight
that come
the morrow
I may rise up again
to face the world
with renewed
determination.

-  Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | The Butterfly Effect

  • Got my ear BADLY cut while surfing and had my friend sacrifice his day off to drive me around for two hours trying to find medical help.
  • Moonpools and Caterpillars (a famous indie band from the 90s in the US) singer and guitarist befriended me while I ate in a restaurant. Apparently I look like the guitarist’s sister.
  • Now surfing again, albeit shitty. At least I’m out in the water, and my ears seem to be healing, and I am alive and not cut, again.
  • Lots of responses for my worldwide art project, yay.

First date by Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) #papernapkinstories

This is literally the restaurant where I first introduced my ex to my relatives and we had dinner with them, almost exactly a year ago. (at Isla Cabana Resort)

I love the staff here. The lighting was shitty and they all got out their lighter, cellphone, and even a flashlight just to help me out with this one!

I was so used to
checking for monsters under my bed,
I never realized they were sleeping beside me.

- Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | Thought of the Day: One-Night Stands

Worldwide art project?

(Please read all and follow instructions)

//edit: The name for the project will be “Word Travels” and will be done in a series of footprints (EG footprints 1/? - Paris, France)

I want to do an art project.

Basically have at least one person each from one city anywhere in the world write a quote or excerpt of my poems and take a picture of it.

You can write it on paper napkins in restaurants, carve it onto park benches or classroom chairs, graffiti it on abandoned houses, use a sharpie on public bathroom walls, on a coffee cup to give to a random cute girl/boy that passes you, doodle chalk on a street, make a sign and hang it over a bridge, etc etc

I don’t care. Be creative. So as long as it’s somewhere public you can share it with strangers who need inspiration.

(Although I am REALLY KEEN on public graffiti or any big 21st century art)

YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHICH POEM/QUOTE OF MINE TO USE.

Just use a line from my writing, put credit if possible (whether it’s my name, website link, or initials), and take a photo. Doesn’t have to be high quality.

Once your photo is posted, simply message me or tag surfandwrite.

Reply below or message me with your city and country if you want in.

This will be a year-long series, and I will credit you in all my posts/reblogs.

So far we have

CANADA

  • Whitehorse, Canada
  • Nova Scotia, Canada
  • Ontario, Canada
  • Alberta, Canada
  • Toronto, Canada
  • Comox, British Columbia, Canada

USA AND LATIN AMERICA

  • Cincinnati, Ohio
  • Long Island, New York
  • Richmond, Virginia
  • Harrisonville, Missouri
  • Las Vegas, Nevada
  • Dulutu, Minnesota
  • Alvin, Texas
  • Edison, New Jersey
  • Metepec, Mexico City 
  • Guadalajara, Mexico
  • Cali, Colombia
  • Albuquerque, Mexico
  • Fort Worth, Texas

EUROPE

  • Sheffield, England
  • Oxford, England

ASIA

  • Los Baños, Philippines

AUSTRALIA AND OCEANIA

  • Sydney, Australia
  • Auckland, New Zealand